Angelina, Julia, Jane & Carol…and You

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Today let’s talk about some high-profile ladies and their projects – and projects about them that they may not have authorized. First up: big tell-all about Angelina Jolie hot off the presses. Speaking of the presses, the book’s chief allegation is that nobody – but nobody – knows how to handle the press as well as Lil Miss Tomb Raider. True? Maybe. Homewrecker? Possibly. Shrewy mixed-up manslaying harridan? Perhaps. Former drug addict with a very messy Hollywood childhood? Most likely a fact. But for my money, whatever Angie’s doing now to manipulate and massage  the press so she comes off like a star, a great mom, and a gal with a conscientious mission – it sure is working. Nor does it hurt when you have that uber-cute brood. (But does anyone care about these books  anymore? This is not like Hollywood in the 1950s where people got paid to hide problems, same sex pals, drug habits, etc.) Now, we all know about stunt casting. It’s when they add a very well-known celebrity as a guest star on a popular TV show. In some cases it’s when they add a very well-known celebrity to a popular TV show that might be, well, snoozing a bit (the show, not the actor) just to make everyone sit up and tune in. Reportedly, Glee is about to get into some serious stunt casting. And obviously Glee isn’t snoozing – the show’s a massive, whopping Emmy-nominated hit and big stars are approaching them about getting on the show. Anyway – the deal isn’t officially done, but casting Carol Burnett as Jane Lynch’s mother would be pretty magnifique, no? Like beyond beyond, right? That’s what I thought. And finally, another popular lady promoting a new film: Julia Roberts, who’s starring in Eat Pray Love. Directed by the fella that created Glee, no less. That movie opens next week, expectations are high, and let’s hope it’s better than the book (a ridiculous, whining, spoiled poor-me-hicle if ever there was one). Now full disclosure: I own Pretty Woman and Notting Hill on both VHS and DVD. I’m a big JRo fan. However, I’m  kinda skeptical about what she had to say to Elle magazine this month. Here she is on plastic surgery: “I want my kids to know when I’m pissed, when I’m happy and when I’m confounded,”  Okay, touché on the phrasing Jules, you definitely know how to use self-effacement to your advantage. However, do we all believe that someone who’s that A-List, and who has  commanded $20 million bucks a film hasn’t had some help? I don’t. Call me jaded but I’m not buying this and would wager there are some parts of her that are not from the original manufacturer. Then she goes on to say that “we live in such a panicked, dysmorphic society where women don’t even give themselves a chance to see what they’ll look like as older persons.” Another interesting observation. Made even more so for me once I looked up the word “dysmorphic”. But again, I gotta say she’s not doing herself any favors – why would we want a chance to consider what looking older looks like when we can just take an older person’s word for it? Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still watch whatever she does, but I do think that in the media manipulation game maybe she could take a few tips from Angie. Or at least get a better ghostwriter to feed her observations. That said, take a look at these four formidable ladies and consider a few hours with one of them under the following circumstance (one of you has a bottle of water and maybe some Tic-Tacs so you’ll be okay). Voice your choice in today’s featured poll and tell us which one of these ladies you’d most like to get trapped in an elevator with:

1)    Angelina Jolie

2)    Jane Lynch

3)    Carol Burnett

4)  Julia Roberts

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