Well, we’ve made it through yet another week without mentioning any Verbose & Wildly Affluent Unemployed Television Stars. Now it’s back to movies. Which is really what we (as a nation devoted to relentless packaging and distribution of commercial entertainment) do best, right?
First up in theaters today, we have Red Riding Hood. You’ve seen the trailers. You probably know a tween or a Twi-hard who’s good and pumped about this latest effort from Catherine Hardwicke (who brought us the very first TwiSagaSegment). Full disclosure: I have met Catherine Hardwicke more than once and I am a big fan. I have seen the aforementioned Saga more than once and I am a big fan. This latest film, based on the wolf/girl/grandma triumvirate is not something I will see, largely because it looks way too creepy and horror-infused. Doesn’t have the romance appeal. What it does have is an abundance of attractive actors, among them Amanda Seyfried from Mama Mia, et al. It also stars the predictably adorable Max Irons, son of Jeremy who is about to get extremely popular and will be profiled in sidebars of countless magazines this month as “one to watch” – mark my words. The fact that the same actor who plays Bella’s dad also plays Red Riding Hood’s dad here seems a little absurd, until you get inside the average TwiMind in which case it’s probably just brilliant casting. Shiloh Fernandez is the other swain here, so be prepared for a lot of divisive swooning among fans. Gary Oldman also stars and all you have to know is that this is based upon the fairy tale, only it’s probably a whole lot scarier. I predict it will do very nicely at the box office, indeed.
But it probably won’t do anywhere near as nicely as Battle: Los Angeles, the big alien invasion film opening today that’s all about what happens when the apocalypse comes to LaLaLand and Aaron Eckhardt and Michelle Rodriguez hop into fatigues to get involved. It wouldn’t be Spring Break without a good old urban devastation yarn. I’m thinking the only thing surpassing this film’s popularity will probably be its volume.
On a quieter note, we have an English period drama out; it’s one that’s been remade a zillion times but it looks kinda good. It’s called Jane Eyre and here Mia Wasikowska from Alice in Wonderland and The Kids Are All Right falls for Michael Fassbender. There will be many kerchiefs/high-waisted bodices/ bonnets, with lots of dewy-skinned people taking walks in spectacular meadows thinking about doomed/diverted, and/or inappropriate love. Plus, expect plenty of formal language and lingering stares. I’ll totally go see this. It’s one of those classic tales that might make you think twice about hooking up with your boss.
Then for kids, we have the animated Mars Needs Moms which is getting very nice reviews and has voices courtesy of the ever dependable Joan Cusack and Seth Green. Kids will flock to it; I think the animation is slightly jarring (let’s just say it’s no Rango). Still, the story is a good one and Disney has high hopes for this latest venture. So there you have it. What’ll you see this weekend? As always, let us know what you decide to catch… and what you thought. Enjoy.
2) Jane Eyre
3) Mars Needs Moms
4) Red Riding Hood
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