I was all set to talk about Fall TV today. The new stuff, which by and large looks fun but not exactly groundbreaking. I was going to say that 2 Broke Girls looks like a big, smart funny hit — and then I was going to say that Whitney looks awful and yet both are brainpowered by the same gal (I predict2BG to prevail). I was going to say that Up All Night looks fabulous and I love its three stars and think the clips are beyond amazing but for some reason Arnett’s always been eluded by the massive stardom he warrants. And that I hoped finally, this one would take, but I’m not optimistic. I was going to say that Person of Interest looks like a television show of interest, and that A Gifted Man seems destined to fall under its irony-free gravitas. Cute cute though Patrick Wilson may be. I was even going to add that Free Agents is already on Yawn Patrol, far as I’m concerned. But then, as I started to read more about TV, I caught news of a certain movie trailer that’s out there right now.
And the 14 –year old girl in me suddenly wanted to talk about something else.
Have you seen it? The one with the pasty English guy and that scowling California gamine who hates to speak off the cuff in public? ( I’m not talking about Russell and Katy, either.)
Breaking Dawn is approaching.
Clearly the movie studios aren’t stupid – they know the two biggest times for moviegoers are 1) those hazy relaxed days of summer when everyone’s bored to the gills and craving action, and 2) that breathless autumn run up to Christmas punctuated by Thanksgiving when we’re supposed to be thrilled about holidays. Only it’s exactly that time when many ardent film-lovers are in fact vaguely anxiety-ridden. Maybe even downright down. Which is why movie studios know that nothing says “cure for holiday stress” like a good old-fashioned love story (that may or may not feature shark-jumping gruesome baby vampire births, chaste-if-potentially-fatal love scenes, and plenty of very badly rendered CGI werewolves lurching around). But again – it’s Twilight so what’s not to love? Now if you adored the first movie (as I did), hated the second movie (as I did), and felt that everything was recouped nicely in the third (that would be my sense again,) you’re already feeling pretty defensive about this fourth one. No matter how big a fan you might be of the Twi-canon. Breaking Dawn: part 1, is of course — for those unfamiliar with the book — just the beginning of the mayhem. It depicts plain-but-unbearably-lucky Bella’s marriage to vampire-with-a-heart-of-gold Edward and their unwitting attempt to start a family. And of course, because nothing ever goes as planned, everyone is cursed by all manner of dark forces. Let’s just say the whole thing becomes a neonatal nightmare peopled with good-looking demihumans.
Be honest: will you watch it?
The decision to make not one but two movies was smart, and they’re saying that it was because of sheer story line volume. I’m pretty sure the only volume they were considering was the green mass that will appear at the box office this coming fall – and that same time, come 2012. But like I said, they’re not stupid.
Now, let’s get back to fall TV …
1) Patrick Wilson
2) Hank Azaria
3) Eddie Cibrian
4) Jim Caviezel