Q: Quick – what do Harry Potter (Deathly Hallows), The Dark Night, Spider-Man 3 and New Moon have in common?
A: They’re the only movies on earth that made more money on their opening weekends than Breaking Dawn did. The fourth movie in the Twilight Saga brought in a blistering $139 million bucks (…that’s just in the USA). Now I don’t like math and I really don’t like (or even understand) statistics but check this out: of the people who saw Breaking Dawn, 80% of them were female (duh), BUT 60% of them were over 21 years old. That’s an awful lot of ladies (legally enjoying a glass of Chablis afterwards to discuss Bella’s vaguely gory birthing process) proving the Twi-Naysayers wrong: it’s not just for tweens.
It’s also not for anyone who cares about the credibility of special effects. I adore this franchise, and completely loved Breaking Dawn – but the werewolves bear all the menace of a dozen rogue California Raisins. The wigs, too, are and always have been a problem. Why, when you are spending $110 million dollars to make a movie, can’t someone convince these actors to dye their hair? We get that the vampire clan needs to be pale, but it seems like a bottle of peroxide might cure all manner of follicular ills. The notion that the actors all have other projects happening is understandable, but the fourteen-year-old girl in me wonders why they can’t just commit to the year’s guiltiest pleasure and worry about other stuff later. Again, that’s just me.
However, the fourteen-year-old girl in me also acknowledges that these are but small complaints, because the film, not wildly lauded by critics, soundly delivers what the fans want. The love story is there and the much-debated sex stuff is handled with unusual grace. So much grace that anyone opting for “lurid” is better off waiting for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. Another bonus here? This movie’s genuinely funny – not always (intentionally) the case with vampire stuff, or anything set in the Pacific Northwest.
Kristen Stewart really gets to shine and the producers continue to luck out with her; say what you will about the clunky dialogue and hackneyed plot twists, this young lady is a fearsome actress who will undoubtedly go on to impress audiences long after Twilight is forgotten. Ditto for hunky Rob Pattinson, who doesn’t have to do much except hint at concern for his young bride’s well being to be universally adored. Meanwhile, blessedly all that’s required of Taylor Lautner is emphatic disrobing. Which happens early and often – about 75 seconds after the movie opens. Having ingested way too much of the Kool-Aid too early on, all I can say is that it was immensely satisfying. It’s broody, dreamy, and now (courtesy of a Brazilian honeymoon) downright exotic. Breaking Dawn’s pure escapist fun, as it should be.
Who saw the AMA’s last night? Did you like them? Tell us whether you enjoyed the show and whether you were satisfied with the results. For my money, I think Taylor Swift’s cute as a bug’s ear but I wonder about backlash since she can’t seem to stop winning things. She’s very talented though. I also see JLo’s Fiat commercials all the time and I want to know which Fiat executive with incriminating photos said: You know what? The ads just aren’t enough. We want that vehicle on the stage. It’s not like it’ll distract anyone.
1) Jennifer Lopez
2) LMFAO / Bieber
4) Kelly Clarkson
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