Top Movie Scumbags

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So, I stepped in poop yesterday morning on my way to work. Right outside my front gate, there it was; an impossible to miss, fresh pile that my foot found its way right into. Oh, I was so mad! I was running late already and I had to go back inside to clean my shoe, causing me to miss the next train. Overall, not a good start to the day. I hate people who think they are better than everyone else and that the rules don’t apply to them. A person who doesn’t clean up after their dog has a serious character flaw, a defect on par with choosing not to recycle, line cutting in traffic and talking during movies. I don’t associate with these kinds of people but we all know they are out there – people with no redeeming qualities whatsoever who more or less can be categorized as scumbags. So to brighten my day, I thought of a way to turn my unlucky morning into a fun little exercise in pop culture trivia; I created a list of the Top Movie Scumbags of all time. I’m not talking straight up villains or bad guys, like Lex Luthor or the Terminator, just characters that make you cringe/roll your eyes in disgust/want to punch them in the face! Here it goes…

Pat Healy (Matt Dillon) in There’s Something About Mary – I thought this was the perfect example of someone that when you first saw them on screen, you exclaimed “What a jerk!” I mean, his sceevy way of getting in close with Mary, his pathetic attempt to impress her with his row of capped teeth and then the best part – when he proudly tells Mary that his true passion is working with retards, you really understand the depths of his scumbagery.

Biff Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson) in Back to the Future – He’s just so… mean! When he wrecks Marty’s car right before his big date with Jennifer and then expects an apology for it, even though it’s clear he was drinking and driving, my heart always goes out to Marty. Not to mention the soft spot I have for George every time Biff wraps his knuckles on his head screaming “Hello in there, think McFly, think!” Whether he is regular Biff, future Biff or old Western Biff, each incarnation is equally despicable and easy to root against.

Fred O’Bannion (Ben Affleck) in Dazed and Confused – Even his friends dislike him! Just the fact that he has a smile on his face as wide as the Cheshire cat when he is paddling poor Mitchy, proves that this guy just wants to make other people’s lives miserable. “This first lick I’d like to dedicate to your mother,” is the line he says to Mitch right before the first whack, giving Mitch all the incentive he needs to plan the ultimate prank on his super-duper senior enemy. Justice was served.

Cal Hockley (Billy Zane) in Titanic – This character encapsulates the definition of the word scumbag. He’s rich and knows it and flaunts it; he doesn’t know when to admit he’s lost (Rose in this example); and he is willing to use a poor screaming child to his advantage to secure a seat on one of the rescue boats. What a despicable excuse for a man.

OK, that’s my list. Do you agree? Do you have others? Let us know and in the meantime, tell us which from my list do you think is the ultimate movie scumbag.

Pat Healy

Cal Hockley

Fred O’Bannion

Biff Tannen



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