Touching and Rubbing

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So a blog is supposed to be personal, right? A snapshot of what one thinks about any one particular topic? Well then, today’s as good a time as any to officially become the pregnant PCA blogger. Moving forward, you might discover that Thursday’s posts often relate to the theme of pregnancy (and how it relates to pop culture of course) as it increasingly becomes the only thing I am able to concentrate on. That said, I am so happy to report that I had my first pre-natal massage last night and gosh, did it feel good. As I lay on the table in ecstasy, my mind wondered and began thinking about massage in the pop culture space. Thus I’ve created a list of the top pop-culture masseuses.

The number one slot has to go to Phoebe Buffay, the mother of all television masseuses. I loved when she flirted with a client by getting a pedicure and wearing a toe ring. I love when she and the gang were locked in Monica’s room during Ross and Rachel’s break up, and she called to cancel an appointment, 15 minutes after it had started. I also just think that it makes sense that she is a masseuse and that it is a perfect occupation to fit her character (not that Chandler doesn’t scream transponster) but it just made sense that she was someone who liked to bring pleasure to others.

Second mention has to go to Raymond, massage therapist in the Seinfeld episode “The Note.” Remember this one? This was when George received a massage from a male therapist and afterwards, began to question his sexuality, thinking that “it” had moved during the massage. Once again, Larry David and the genius that is “Seinfeld” perfectly captured a moment that many men could identify with and made it almost unbearably uncomfortable to watch. The icing on the cake was when they reintroduced this scene into a later episode – when Jeremy Piven tried out for the roll of George in the “Jerry” pilot and embarrassingly described the “touching and rubbing” to Jerry. Genius. I just realized, there is a whole other “Seinfeld” episode dedicated to the fact that Jerry can’t get a massage from his masseuse girlfriend (Jennifer Coolidge, A.K.A. Stifler’s mom) but Raymond stands out to me as the more memorable masseuse.

Moving onto movies, I have to call out Virgil Adamson, Val Kilmer’s character in the romantic film At First Sight. Virgil is a blind masseuse that brings Amy (Mira Sorvino) to the point of tears during her massage treatment – something I have willed myself to do in every massage since seeing the movie. Just thought that was so romantic and again – what better job for a blind person to have than using one’s hands to heal the body. Just a nice concept overall. And on top of everything, he was a masseuse in the Catskills and the massage takes place in this beautiful room with sunlights on a rainy day. Heaven.

Finally, I’d like to pay tribute to Rozalin Focker, Barbra Streisand‘s character in Meet the Fockers, for inserting the one comedic moment into that otherwise, painful-to-watch sequel to Meet the Parents. In the scene, Babs roars like a tiger as she thrusts the backside of Robert DeNiro. True to form, Babs is even filmed from her traditional left side. Once again, I seem to gravitate towards comedy that just makes you want to cringe!

I hope you are all as relaxed as I am, post this trip down pop-culture massage history. Now tell us, which of these masseuses would you like to receive a massage from?

Phoebe Buffay from “Friends”
Raymond from “Seinfeld”
Virgil from At First Sight
Rozalin from Meet the Fockers

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