Are you ready for a Kardashian Christmas card extravaganza? America’s most divisive reality family released their 2013 Christmas card and it certainly doesn’t look like any card you’ll find in your mailbox this holiday season. Take a look above.
This celebration of holiday opulence was shot by famed celebrity photographer David LaChapelle, who had previously lent his unique photographic “LaChapelle Show” excellence to Madonna, Katy Perry and Britney Spears.
Here are five observations we had about the new Kardashian Christmas card.
1. Nothing says Christmas like absolutely nothing that has to do with Christmas!
Sorry Frosty, but this card contains no snow, no Santa and no gingerbread; not a single Christmas tree. The card is provocatively surreal, which I suppose is the point. It looks beautiful; an artistically thought-provoking piece of work indeed, but its subversive nature is equivalent to showing up to a holiday dinner party with a bouncy castle and a keg of Gatorade as opposed to the glazed ham you promised to cook.
2. Not pictured in this year’s Kardashian Family Christmas card: The family.
Kanye West, North West, Rob Kardashian, Scott Disick and Lamar Odom all received an unofficial “DNP: Coach’s Decision.” Maybe the family got lost? Perhaps Kanye traveled east when he should have traveled… south. Ha! Joke expectations SUBVERTED!
This likely has less to do with familial bad blood and more to do with a probable Kardashian Christmas card SPINOFF! Keeping Up with the Kardashian’s Christmas Card! Saturday nights on E!.
I joke, but I’d watch it. I’d silently weep as I devour every single beautiful minute.
3. The Kardashian Christmas card contains a startling lack of wild animals!
If you want a traditional holiday card, pop on your favorite candy cane sweater and ride your one horse open sleigh to your nearest Sears. This is a Kardashian Christmas card, which is why I was a little disappointed by the lack of random wild animals gallivanting about. No lions? No tigers? No bears? Oh my, my my. Get it together, Kim and company! You’re the Kardashians! You ooze decadence. The fact that this Christmas card doesn’t include a member of the Kardashian crew riding a wild tiger or bare-knuckle boxing a grizzly bear is quite disheartening.
4. Wondering what went on behind the scenes?
Allow us to assuage your curiosity…
5. If I had to describe the Kardashian Christmas card in one word…
Subtle! Kidding. It kind of looks like a beautiful combination of a Las Vegas hotel penthouse suite on January 1st and a dream I’d have minutes after ingesting the contents of an elegant snow globe. So let’s go with… amazing.
Check out more photos below:
What’s your favorite part of the Kardashian Christmas card?
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